paradise in our home

زائر

Paradise in Our Homes - II

[size=16] Episode 2

“Youth and Sex”

The
part two episodes will deal with youth on
two essential scales: Sex and drugs.The episode on hand is the first in the
series of youth and sex. By 'youth' we mean: the pre-marriage age starting from
adolescence.

The message we are delivering here targets the role of the family
(i.e. the parents) not the society.

Handling this matter becomes urging because of the
following reasons:

1- There is a rising desire and curiosity of adolescents to
discover the world around them and discover the other sex, hence it should be
directed towards the right direction.

" Adorned for mankind is the love of lusts, for women and
seeds, (Or: sons) and heaped-up, heaps (Literally: “arched” hoarded cantars) of
gold and silver, and horses of mark, and cattle and tillage. That is the
enjoyment (Literally: the belongings) of the present life; (Literally: the lowly
life, i.e., the life of this world) and Allah has in His Providence the fairest
resorting." [TMQ[1], 3:14].

2- The rising calamities suffered by young girls in
their high school and preliminary university years due to falling into the trap
of illegitimate relationships.

3- The openness of the internet in handling sexual matters makes
the conservative way adopted by families in handling such matters with their
kids unsuitable; it is even destructive. There becomes a wide gap between both
extremes. Conservative approach encourages our youth to access to wrong
information.

4- Sex is a natural instinct innate in
human beings and is not something to be ashamed of. Therefore parents should not
follow silence or blame in handling sexual information with their kids, but
should rather follow the right guidance and proper education.

There
are three wrong ways in handling sexual matters with youngsters that should be
avoided and using them has negative repercussions:

1- Blame and threatening

2- Mocking and sarcasm

3- Punishment

The
right way is that parents should talk with their kids and bring up the issue
gradually. The talk should flow in proper, calm, respectable and friendly
emotional manner. They should also make brainstorming with their kids as a
means to get the kids involved in reaching the right solutions.

The
Prophetic method in dealing with sexual matters with youth:

A young man came to the Prophet (SAWS[2]) and asked him
permission to fornication. The companions were angry at him, while the Prophet
(SAWS) remained calm. It was narrated that the Prophet (SAWS)
asked the young man if he would approve this fornication to be committed upon
his mother. The young man replied negatively, then he (SAWS) asked him
if he would accept it to his sister, and again the young man replied with a big
no, then the Prophet (SAWS) asked him if he would approve it to his
aunt. The young man replied with a no once more. The Prophet (SAWS)
told him that people would deny this exactly as he did. Then the Prophet
(SAWS) invocated Allah (SWT[3]) to grant this young
man strength and guidance. Notice that the Prophet (SAWS) did not
humiliate or scold the young man but he rather taught him in a gentle calm
way.

There
are few main points that parents should communicate to their sons and
daughters:

1- Sex is not a game but is sacred and honorable with noble
goals.

2- Sexual harassment leads to falling into complete
sex.

3- Prohibited sex is highly despised and leads to Allah's
Wrath.

4- Involvement in illegitimate sex has destructive consequences
on the future of the adolescent and causes incurable damage in his
personality.

Youth
should understand that marriage entails a wider sacred meaning than just
performing sex. The goal of marriage is bringing prosperity and development to
earth, while illegitimate sex outside the institution of marriage brings about
destruction to earth and violates the main aim which Allah (SWT) has
created the earth for.

When
Satan challenges Allah (SWT) and promises to tempt Man to the wrong
path, he knew his only way to achieve this is through fornication, because
committing fornication is simply going against Allah’s Goals of
creation.

"Said he, “Have You seen? This, whom you have honored above me, indeed
in case you defer me to the Day of the Resurrection, indeed I will definitely
bring his offspring under my subjection, (Literally: under my palate; i.e.,
between my jaws) except a few.”" [TMQ,
17:62].

Fornication shows Man lusting for his desires outside marriage which
degrades him to a level that's as low as animals.

Fornication is Satan’s way to destroy humanity. The secret of Allah’s
Anger invoked by fornication is that it twists and deforms Allah’s Norms and
Laws of the universe. Instead of making families that develop societies and
construct the earth, families are being ruined by illegitimate sex.

A
special word to girls: because sex is not a game, Allah (SWT) highly
honors it by restricting it to the lawful institution of marriage. Allah
(SWT) has honored women and made them so precious. One form of this
is that marriage entails a whole process of families' approval, paying a dowry,
and ceremonies for public announcement. On the other hand, a girl in
illegitimate sex brings about her degradation and disrespect.

Finally, the word 'love' carries a sublime meaning if only practiced
inside marriage; otherwise it becomes a means to disrespect from the male to the
female and it invokes Allah's Wrath, Allah forbids.

[1] TMQ=Translation of the Meaning of the
Qur'an. This translation is for the realized meaning, so far, of the stated
(Surah:Ayah) of the Qur'an. Reading the translated meaning of the Qur'an can
never replace reading it in Arabic, the language in which it was
revealed.

[2]SAWS= Salla Allah alayhe Wa
Salam [All Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon
him]

[3] SWT = Subhanahu wa Ta'ala [Glorified and
Exalted Be He].

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this is from Amr Khaled's web site